Tell me something. Why is Adam Levine so darn cute????
I hope you enjoyed that nice musical interlude, if you haven't please go ahead and listen to the song I will wait.
Good you're back. Great song isn't it? Anyway this post is not about the content of the song, but I really like the title. You see I have basically cleaned house in the way where I have cleaned out all of the bad influences in my life and I am trying to make a fresh start. This year I focused completely on me and my son and tried to figure out what it is that I need to do with my life. I thought I finally could start getting things in my life together and really start living and being the person that I was put on this earth to be. The trouble is I still haven't the foggiest idea...
I have been looking for my wake-up call all year and nothing!! In fact I am more confused than ever. I always wanted to be a lawyer ever since I was a little girl, but the truth is I just wanted to make enough money to not be poor anymore. I am not sure where my passions lie. I don't really know what I want to be when I grow-up and considering that I will be 30 any day now and I have a small child to raise I really should have figured this out years ago.
I feel like I am so behind the power curve...I am just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on getting my undergrad degree. There is still so much to learn and for me to do to reach my goal of being an attorney, but meanwhile I have this little kid depending on me to give him direction. How in the hell can I give him direction when I am still flapping in the wind.
I guess what I really want to know is how do people know what they are passionate about ? What will truly make them happy? How do you know when you are truly good at something? I mean yes I am passionate about a lot of things but I don't seem to be good enough to do any of it. I know this probably the depression talking, but damn I feel like I have just missed out on some chapter on life that everyone else has figured out and I am still in the dark.
I need a wake-up call. I need something...
I'm so tired of this shit.
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2 comments:
Hay Hay, first time visiting, but definitely wont be the last...
www.yazmar.com
i didn't start figuring out what i wanted to be when i grew up until i was about 33 or 34... i had to deal with the pain inside me first, forgive myself for all i thought i had done wrong and really "let go, and let God" as they say. I'm trying to put into words how I came to understand and trust that "Thy will" is more effective than "my will", does that even make sense? :) i'll have to meditate on that one and see if it becomes more articulate :)
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