The Quiet Life

So you read my confessions...kind of boring huh?? Yeah well I know and I am not going to apologize for my fairly drama free life. Well at least no outside drama...heck I make enough drama on my own.

For the last two or three years my life has been pretty quiet and it has been very nice. I have had enough excitement in my life to last me several lifetimes...Boy, I could tell you some stories, but I won't because the statute of limitations hasn't run out yet...TEE-HEE. Now if I was completely anonymous I would, but since there are people who read my blog that I have to look in the eye I think I will keep my days of excitement to myself at least for now...

I have been working on a post entitled "Who Am I" or "101 Facts About Me" or something along those lines that I've seen on other blogs, but I think we are past that stage. I mean hell I told you about my depression and how it has been affecting my life at least presently and I even told you that I wanted to be on Broadway and I actually love musicals...I know I am a total geek. But I swear every time I watch "A Chorus Line", "West Side Story", "South Pacific", "Chicago" and even (hanging my head in shame) "Grease" my heart just gets all a flutter. (I did however refrain from watching the reality show about finding the new Sandy and Danny...ugh)

Anyway, I have been looking at some of my old journals and boy even when I thought I was happy or dealing with my deep dark depression I was one miserable person. I kept thinking that if I only found someone to be with that they would love me and I would be fine. HA...man I was dumb. I know now that the only answer to finding the love I want is within me and I need to figure out how to do that. Love myself that is.

You know the funny thing about me is that logically I know all of this I mean I am no dummy. Logically I know that no one can make me happy but me. I am fully aware that most of my fears and thoughts when I am in my major depressive state are totally irrational. I know all of this because I am by nature a logical person. It really is funny how if I were looking at someone else with my exact same issues I could be very logical about the whole thing and try and help them out like people try and help me. I guess we all get that way what is the saying "can't see the forest, but for the trees" or something like that.

This week I start my class for summer semester...Biology with lab. I thought I would have a nice relaxing summer with this class but no such luck I think by July I will be pulling my hair out. This Saturday E will be finally getting his award for being on of Montgomery County Maryland most Excellent students. YAY!! I am just so proud of him. He has really come a long way. Also I am dog sitting for my big sister Monnie while her and the Robinator are out of town. I am just taking it one day at a time and enjoying the quiet life.