***I jacked this from CreoleinDC's blog last week*****
Satisfaction with Life Scale
Your total score: 16
If you scored 15 or under, you are dissatisfied with your life. If you scored 31 or higher, you are extremely satisfied with your life.
If you scored somewhere in the middle, happiness expert Dr. Robert Holden has some advice on how to live a more satisfying life. Dr. Holden says the key to being happy is overcoming "destination addiction," which he defines as "living in the not-now."
"It's always about tomorrow, so you're chasing 'more,' 'next' and 'there,'" he says. "You promise yourself that when you get there, you'll be happy. And I promise you, you won't, because you'll always set another destination to go for."
Instead, Dr. Holden says if you are unhappy with your life or looking to improve your score, there are two things you can do. "We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others.
"It's never too late to be happy," he says.
I will have to say I agree with their analysis I do have what they call a "destination addiction". I am one of those people who look at my past transgressions A LOT and feel very guilty. I am also NEVER satisfied even when I've accomplished a goal that I've set for myself.
For instance I'm having a really hard time with school this semester. Things are just not coming to me as easily as usual and I just can't seem to stay focused. I think one of the reasons is that I am afraid that once I graduate that I still won’t be satisfied. I mean I have worked years on this goal and if I can't be happy about something this big that I've worked my azz off for then what does that say about me?
Can I ever be truly satisfied? Will I ever feel accomplished? Or will I just drift from goal to goal hunting for a feeling that I will never find? Or approval I will never get?
I just don't know...like what the quiz said I am constantly saying to myself "when I finish_____ or when I get______ or if I can just have______ then I will be satisfied” and then when I get_______ I just find something else to go after.
Am I the only one who feels like this? Have you ever felt like this? Were you able to change this behavior? If so how?
I always feel like I am running after something. Maybe I am running after my happiness...
4 comments:
I think my score was the highest number of unhappy. I agree. But I dont sweat it...cuz I live my life. I know that shit aint where I want it to be...but honestly I dont think I truly know where I want it to be. I feel like you only I have given up chasing. because in the past everything i've chased did not bring me the result that I anticipated, which has me thinking that maybe what I am looking for doesnt want to be chased...maybe it wants to be discoverd. Anything you chase runs away (or is that just me? haha) And thats where I am now...trying to figure out what I REALLY want. so that I dont waste any more of my time and energy chasing a phantom. Good luck girl!
I plan for the future to some degree, but I've always tried to live in the present. No one knows what the future will bring. I don't mean to be morbid, but you (don't mean YOU but anybody) could die in your sleep tonight, and if your happiness is all pushed into the future, then what was it all about?
You didn't ask for advice, but I will give you some anyway. Make some short-term plans, and I mean really short-term. Like, on Friday evening you'll get a pizza and rent "Ghostbusters", and you and E will watch it together. Or Saturday afternoon, if the weather's nice, go outside and pitch a ball back and forth. I used to keep a picnic blanket, a kite and some string in the trunk of my car so that if we were out together on a nice day we could go to the park and have a great time without a lot of preparation. Practice not thinking about the next thing on your list, but enjoying the right now, and making a memory that you will have later, and he will too. I did that and now that my girl is grown I can take a walk down memory lane any time I want. There were stressful times but we were happy and we had fun. Still do.
What Laura said.
I didn't do the test, but I completely understand what you're talking about. It can almost be a let down when you accomplish a big goal, because there is always the "now what" factor. I definitely agree with Laura that enjoying the present is the best that it gets. Then after you feel happy and content and have the energy to make plans for the next big step!
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