Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may
not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell
alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's
newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back
in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
same night.

Last Night...

...I stepped a bit out of my element and went out on a school night and I am completely wiped out. However, it was soooo worth it, because I met a lot of really awesome people.

It all started a couple of weeks ago when my girl Monnie told me that one of my most favorite blogger's Brutha Code was coming into town and she was trying to organize a dinner. I just could not resist the temption of meeting him. He is one of the most hi-freaking-larious bloggers I have ever read, very raw, but hilarious all the same. I just had to meet him and to see what the man behind the words was really like. Let me tell you I was not disappointed Brutha Code is a riot and kept us all in laughing all night.

I also got to meet some other blogger's Honest who is such a sweetie, Hostess who is way cool, Royce's daughter who is just super nice and onefromphilly who is not a blogger, but should be because I always enjoy her comments. Oh and there was also another blogger there who I wont mention by name, but who I can definitely say was a VERY intersting character (more on her in a minute).

Anywhoo, we all met up at this Ethiopian restaurant in D.C. I had never had Ethiopian food before and was not sure what to expect. I was totally down for the experience because I LOVE to try new things and experience other cultures. Since I know how indecisive I can be when it comes down to ordering food at new places I decided google the restaurant and found the menu. Needless, to say when I looked at all of the food choices I was utterly confused as to what I would actually like, but settled on a shrimp dish called Shrimp Alitcha it was described as shrimp sauteed in a mild flavorful onion and herb sauce. It sounded safe enough... It was actually good, but I just could not get down with the bread,which is what you use to eat with...lucky for me I had the foresight to ask for a fork. We also ordered this delightful honey wine, which is apparently a traditional Ethiopian wine. It was pretty good a little too much on the sweet side for me but still decent nonetheless.

I had such a nice time meeting everyone and laughed harder than I have in a long time. It is really hard for me to get out and mingle amongst other adults on a regular basis, so this was a very nice diversion to my otherwise nose to the grindstone existence.

The most entertaining part about our night out had to do with the VERY interesting character that I mentioned before. You see Monnie had posted an announcement on her blog about the get together with Brutha Code and this person accepted the invitation. I actually had found this persons blog a few weeks ago and I am quite a regular reader. I don't know why but I just find certain aspects of her lifestyle a bit fascinating. You know...nothing that I would actually do or let people know that I am aware of... kinda my little guilty pleasure...sorta thing. This blogger seemed nice enough at first, but then she started asking a bunch of unnecessary questions and annoying the natives and they were getting restless so the subject quickly turned to her. How did we know her? Where was she from? I was a bit surprised at the questions because I was sure that AT LEAST one other person besides me was a reader of her blog and knew her story. Well, my surprise turned into great amusement when she finally said who she was and people put two and two together and realized that she is a swinger and talks about it quite freely on her blog.

Oh man the looks on every one's faces were PRICELESS... and the night just went down hill for most pretty quickly especially when the check came and this chick quickly said she was not going to pay for us to drink and did not want to split the check evenly with us... WOW!!! just WOW. At this point I was getting seriously concerned for this girl's safety, because if looks could kill she would have been buried right along side the n-word. I mean I can understand if she didn't want to pay for the wine, but she should have requested a separate check from the get go....cuz splitting the check is just how we roll...sigh, but I digress.

Once dinner was paid for we all kind of started talking about going our separate ways and then this chick...get this...this chick had the audacity to single out Brutha Code while the rest of us are still standing there and ask him if he wanted to go to some other bar with her. I am like what are the rest of us chop freaking liver...man what balls!! At this point we all start to file our way out of the restaurant to say our good-byes and all but the one VERY interesting chick started to walk in the same direction towards the parking garage. Once she was safely out of sight we then decided to find another spot to hang and fellowship and had a fabulous time.

I just realized I definitely need to get out more...

Just Wow...

Bring Me To Life

This is too funny!!!

I wish I could go on a tropical vacation but I can't...

So... I will just blog instead...I haven't really blogged much...what else is new? I just get so caught up with the day to day of life that even though I have a myriad of topics I could blog about I just don't get around to it. I would promise that I will try harder, but who am I kidding.

Let's see what has been going on these last few weeks... Well E has been staying with his father for the past couple of weeks, which has been a HUGE load off of me. I love my son with all of my heart, but I am soooo grateful for this break. With all that has been going on with me lately as far as getting my mental health back on track I couldn't get that child out of the door fast enough. Granted he is a great kid...(really Mistress he is...LOL) smart, funny and caring just a all around sweetie pie, but he and I both needed a break from each other. I mean I haven't exactly been a barrel of laughs myself lately.

Another thing I have been back in therapy for a little over a month now and things are progressing... at least I hope they are. There are days when I feel on top of the world, but most days I still feel like I am the buried deep within the hot steaming center of the earth's core. I hate that I am sooo up and down all the dang time. It has gotten to a point where I just don't want to be around anyone because I never know how my mood will be. I keep saying I am going to use this time while my son is gone to do some fun things, but I have come to realize that I don't really have anyone to hang out with anymore. None of my girlfriends are single and I hate to take them away from their husbands or feel like a third wheel. I know they may not see it like that, but I do. I know that is something I need to work on.

I have A LOT of things I need to work on... so much that it just feels overwhelming and then I find myself shutting down, because I am trying to figure out how I can get myself better and still do my everyday things and finish school and plan my future and my son's future...and whatever else I am forgetting about.

Oh and another thing I am completely turned off by the idea of dating, even though one of my biggest fears is winding up alone. I am so confused when it comes to the dating "game" and I have been reading so many blogs about the whole dating thing recently and the more I read the more confused I become. Earlier this year I decided to take a year off of dating since I just got out of a relationship and I was feeling so depressed (not because of my relationship ending just in general). Now I am not sure I even want to go back out into the dating scene at all. It just sounds so impossible and I already have so many things that I NEED to do. I feel like I am just running out of time in the whole finding a mate thing....oh well c'est la vie.

I think I am better off alone. Funny thing is I have been alone for about two weeks without my kid and I am not lonely at all. It is kind of nice... the peace and quiet and since I don't really get along with immediate family my phone doesn't ring, so I have been having a lot of time to think.

What I do need to do is loose about 10 or 15 lbs and I want to do this before my b-day. My depression has helped me put on weight since this time I have been eating food like it is going out of style. Well at least I am not getting drunk every night like I did the last time I was in a deep depression though I did lose about 10 or 15 lbs, which was nice although at that time people thought I was too skinny...sigh

Well this has been my life so far this summer...ups and downs and ups and downs...but I am really trying to work it out. I want to work it out. I have to work it out... or I will end up being a piece of shit and I am way to cute for that!!

Sorry for my ramblings it is almost two in the morning and I just don't feel like proof reading, so there are probably typos all types of grammatical errors. Guess what? I don't give damn...LOL.

BYE-BYE Flight Attendant

Read Here

This air waitress* should be fired for kicking this poor woman and her child off the plane.






*I only call them air waitresses when their attitude is so stank that they don't deserve the title of flight attendant..humph!!