Bye, Bye Max

Last weekend there was a tragedy in the life of young E. He lost his best buddy, Max the fish, apparently he died of natural causes. (note: we do not suspect foul play as Tali 2 was no where in the vicinty...lol)

When we discovered Max lying lifeless at the bottom of his bowl E in disbelief ran up to it and tapped lightly on the glass. Once it was established that Max was indeed dead E burst into tears and my heart immediately sank. I know how much Max meant to E and I also know that my son is of the extra sensitive variety. When he loves something or someone he loves them hard and deep.

I let him cry for a few minutes and I held him in my arms and comforted him letting my shoulder soak up his tears. Then all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. This boy is almost 10 years old. Should I allow him to go on like this over a fish? He is not a little baby anymore. Would his father allow him to carry on like this if he lived with us? Or would he tell him to stop all of the nonsense?

The mom in me wanted to hold him and allow him to grieve over his lost friend, but I don't want my son to grow up to be "soft". I want him to be a man. Whatever that means. I just didn't know what to do and I was so confused.

It is times like these I wish I had a husband or his father close by so that I could turn to him for help when stuff like this come up. I know it seems silly to think some thing as small as a fish dying could bring up so much anxiety for me, but heck. I wasn't raised with a father in the home so I have no idea what a father would do in this situation...Sigh!!

I eventually told E to stop crying and that we needed to do something with Max's remains. We decided to give him a proper burial at sea (flush him down the toilet). However, that took some convincing. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: We need to give Max a proper burial.
E: How?
Me: All good fish get sent back to the ocean.
E: Do you mean flushing him?
Me: Yes.
E: Noooooo!!! He is too good for that!!! We should just drive to the ocean.
Me: Sigh...

Well, it has been a little over a week and I am glad to say although E misses his pet fish. This experience has not scarred him for life and I guess I handled it pretty well.

Bye Max. E will miss you.